Think of Why

Not sure what triggered, our new neighbor was yelling with F* words on the phone yesterday morning and throughout the day. The apartment temperature wasn’t news, she signed the lease knowing landlord asked to put 70F constant for both units as the heat is included in the rent. The temperature control of the front part of apartment is in our unit while the back control is at hers. The setting is a bit odd yet 70F is a comfortable and reasonable temperature. We never had issue with previous neighbor.

When the neighbor moved-in in November, I wrote her a welcome card and both my roommate and I briefly chatted with her when we saw her outside the building. We let her know if she has question, feel free to ask us and if she’d like to exchange phone #. We never heard back.

Last week, there was a big temperature swing (58-80F) in the back of the apartment. The hot air made my room stuffy and I woke up in sweat in the morning. I wrote to our neighbor a nice letter first wishing her business success (as she mentioned wanting to start a YouTube channel), second wish her/ family a happy Thanksgiving, at the end, I asked her to please keep the thermostat at 70F.

Almost a week later, the note came back. No mentioned of regards, she only said 70F is too cold and she told the landlord that she put 76F. Both my roommate and I were surprised that neither her nor the landlord informed us about the temperature change as it impacts both apartment. We’d inform our neighbor and landlord if it’s our request.

It’s landlord’s call if he agrees with the neighbor on the higher temperature yet we shall not be responsible (including future rent consideration) for neighbor’s action, if cost increases. I had to change my blanket and reverse how I sleep to deal with the heat yet I managed.

I was not happy about the situation, less for the temperature and noise but more for the inconsideration. We try to be good neighbor. There is a thin wall between the apartments and due to Covid, my roommate and I are working from home. We understand people have different lifestyle/ way of communication and we’re happy to discuss with the neighbor to work things out. However, it doesn’t seem that our good intention was interpreted positively, nor would be appreciated.

People’s personality, vocabulary, and behavior are complex topics and out of our control yet it reminded us to be mindful of our own. Neither my roommate, nor I use F* words or talk rude, yet could we be loud sometimes during virtual meetings? Possibly. How did we sound to her?

For the temperature, perhaps she tried to raise the back to warm up the whole apartment. To be honest, it’d be more productive that she talks with landlord and us to request the whole apartment changing to, say 72F vs. she continues complaining while staying on the front, making the back extremely warm (today, I woke up in a sauna, 80F) and having landlord pay for it.

We could be angry and we have the right to protest against inappropriate behavior yet a shouting match doesn’t do anybody any good. Instead, my roommate and I decided to describe the situation factually to the landlord, state our stand & willingness to collaborate, and offer a suggestion. The ball is in the landlord (& neighbor)’s court.

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