A friend shared that one of her goals for 2025 was to get back to exercising.
Her son and I supported her with running shoes and clothes as Christmas gifts.
Recently, I asked how it was going.
She smiled sheepishly and said, “ Not much. ”
Instead of reacting or judging, I asked, “What happened?”
She explained that her company had rolled out a new system. Training came with it — but her function wasn’t included. She’s the only auditing specialist on the team, so she tried to figure everything out herself, without bothering anyone. Learning the system meant extra hours on top of an already heavy workload.
Have you been in a similar situation?
Highly skilled, responsible, and thoughtful people often do this:
- take on more than they should
- try to figure things out alone
- hesitate to ask for help
- avoid adding burden to others
But does that actually help?
- Over time, the stress erodes health, mood, and the ability to be present with people who matter.
- The overload turns you into a bottleneck, slowing the team and undermining the very systems meant to help.
- Unspoken needs can create misunderstanding — and even resentment — among colleagues you’re trying to protect.
The issue isn’t discipline, motivation, or time-management.
It’s a problem-definition problem.
When we slow down and look again, different questions emerge:
- What’s really getting in the way?
- Who is affected by this?
- Who could help if they understood the situation?
Sometimes, solving the problem means:
- asking for support
- helping others see “helping me helps all of us”
- reframing speaking up as responsibility, not weakness
When facing a problem:
- pause to understand before fixing
- make sure you’re addressing the real cause, not just the symptoms
- look wider — consider impact, people, and shared ownership
How might this help you solve problems?